http://profiles.aim.com/clsy3k
Seems I’m getting to more like to Seventh and Tenth
incarnations of the Doctor, in that I’m becoming more ruthless and merciless.
This may continue until I have my full drivers’ license, then move out and
start dating. Time robbed me of things that I should have experienced like
everyone else, but some of those never did occur for me. I also blame working
at Target and high school itself, what a waste of time both of those were.
“: The Master: You do not understand hatred as I
understand it. Only hate keeps me alive. Why else should I endure this pain?”
–Doctor Who, The Deadly Assassin.
For too
long I have ignored the voices that won’t go away, many times I have drowned
the Sound of drums with music movies and video games. Now due to the planets of
the zodiac themselves, it seems things are to going to be harder for me and I’m
depressed because my lack of friends and a social circle to help. Seems a
person needs more then two people that he speaks with on the internet. Read my Taurus
horoscope on astrocenter.com if you don’t believe me, I assume you can get my
birthday from the profile. If you can’t its 04/22/84. I wish my emotions didn’t
re-emerge when they did last fall, I would have been better having stayed
emotionally dead inside. Being born in the year of the Wood Rat (weak isn’t
it?) has giving me abilities and attributes I really don’t care for, hearing
the thoughts of others is nothing but its own form of torture. I’ve read it
seems to be a good thing, to be a Rat in the Chinese zodiac, but I don’t see
how. To me there is no difference between honor, treachery and cowardice.
At a young
age I was prescribed the sterilizer know as Ritalin by a Feminazi doctor
because of a stupid ass kindergarten teacher and a southern worthless lazy
redneck school system. Since both the doctor and teacher both had the same last
names, it looks like a scam to be drugged for most of my life. I should track
them down with a lawyer sue them both and their families into poverty.
The only thing I blame myself
for is my own greed, if I hadn’t been concerned with material wealth and giving
into cynicism like a typical Taurus male I properly wouldn’t be living in the
same place as my parents. That realization came only a week before my twenty
forth birthday, which by then was too little too late.
If it
wasn’t for the video games and the internet I would have been bored out of my
mind. Let that be a lesson to everyone else, playing too much Grand Theft Auto
will make you a socialist liberal. I guess that’s one good thing about me so
far.
Few people
don’t know what it is like to never have a date, only handfuls of men don’t
know what it’s like to never have a girlfriend/lover since the beginning of
adolescence and puberty until their mid twenties. Nobody knows what’s like to have
a girl flirt with you and then not realize it until it was too late, because I
was too emotionally stunted to figure it out. Even gay men, and bigger nerds
and dorks then myself have had more success with women then I ever had. I know
my standards are not too high, I just want to date an attractive girl, who is
still a virgin like I am, preferably a Cancer, Capricorn or Pisces. No fat
chicks or feminists sluts, ever. Never knowing what is like to love someone
else is why I seem to have run into a writers block, it’s just something I have
no concept of.
I have
suffered unfairly, unjustly for far too long for my liking. It is my turn to
make people see what it’s to be hated, how it is to be alone and disconnected
with everything around them. If I have to experience pain, so should everyone
else. It is my right to be extremely bitter. I am a man has experienced too
much hate and loathing. Weather they have caused me to suffer personally or not
doesn’t matter. Each and every piece of human garbage deserves it. I found it easier to give up and live on
misery. Not helpful when your family is just a bunch of deluded Christians, who
really understand nothing. I can say their good people, but that’s all I am
aware of. That may be because they
already know I look down on them for what they believe.
I don’t
give a shit about your God/Jesus/Mohammed or your Satin/Devil/What ever non
existent evil you fear, believing fictional things to exist are for the weak
and mentally inferior. I choose to live without fear. I don’t know if those
feelings will change in the future, or if I will ever find a girlfriend to help
me become a better person. I am not delusional enough to consider myself a martyr.
Even for a second. I have dared them all to strike me down, to end my miserable
existence. I curse and damn their names in hopes one of them would, but all I
get is silence and then nothing.
Too often I find myself quoting fictional villains instead of the heroic
characters I admire and respect. Even creepier, I find myself agree with what
their saying.
Unfortunately for me, their wont be somebody like, the Tenth
Doctor to say “I’m so sorry”, or “I forgive you”. Such words have little
meaning to me.
Seems
I’m becoming a megalomaniac as well.
“Across
the entire universe, never stopping, never faltering, never fading. People and
planets and stars will become dust. And the dust will become atoms and the
atoms will become… nothing. And the wavelength will continue, breaking
through the rift at the heart of the Medusa Cascade into every dimension, every
parallel, every single corner of creation. This is my ultimate victory, Doctor!
THE DESTRUCTION OF REALITY ITSELF!!!
―Davros, creator of the Daleks, Doctor Who, Journey’s End
As Davros has, I should use my own brilliance for personal gain. And too crap
with everyone else! I have been rejected by my own generation(Y, thank you assholes), as such I have the right to excise my hate towards not only them, but everyone else! If this rant makes me sound like a bitter insane old man, I don’t
give a fuck.
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